Stale Popcorn: A Guide to the Summer 2010 Film Season

The summer movie formula is pretty simple: Release the high-priced blockbusters while school's out and make money. This in itself isn't a bad thing, plenty of high budget films provide entertainment and opportunities to present things that haven't been seen before (Star Wars, E.T., Men in Black, etc.). The problem is when spectacle and box office potential are prioritized above basic storytelling virtues; then we're paying good money to see noisy, vapid sinkholes. For the past few summers, this formula has been seemingly eating itself, with studios hanging their hats on established franchises, toys, comics, etc. Instead of new ideas and risks, audiences have mostly been subject to calculated business logic and marketing.

Bloggers and critics all over are already chiming in on this summer's theatrical lineup; many are already calling it the worst summer in recent memory, or possibly ever. They might be right. Let's do a head count:

Sequels/Prequels:

Shrek Forever After

Sex and the City 2

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Step Up 3D

Remakes/Re-boots:

Robin Hood

Karate Kid

Piranha 3D

TV/Video Game/Comic Adaptations:

Macgruber

The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Marmaduke

The A-Team

The Last Airbender

Is that worse than usual? I'm not motivated enough to investigate past summers, but it definitely feels worse. I can understand the intentions behind Ridley Scott's re-imagined Robin Hood origin story, and a 3D Piranha movie boasting record levels of fake blood might be sleazy enough to be worth seeing, but was there anybody in the world who wanted to see a Marmaduke movie? (Sub-topic: People still read "Marmaduke"?) Are the children who saw the original Cats & Dogs movie NINE years ago still looking for closure in a sequel? Do Dreamworks Animation executives really believe the world needs another Shrek movie?

Of course not. But there might be hope. Normally about this time of year I'm waiting for the depression to sink in when people pay for the usual rotten bunch of bananas in droves. However, early numbers indicate that Shrek, SATC2, and Prince of Persia are performing far below expectations, and Macgruber's performance has been an embarrassment. This could be a sign that maybe people don't want to pay high ticket prices to see recycled garbage, but let's wait until the next Twilight film is released before we say for sure.

In the meantime, here are some sequels, comic book movies, and remakes that look like solid exceptions:

Iron Man 2

The first Iron Man film succeeded with great performances and an infectious energy, and while the depth of Iron Man comic book mythos would be enough justification for a sequel, there's a genuine desire to see where this story is going next. (And no, I still haven't seen it yet.)

Toy Story 3

Pixar has proven repeatedly that their interests are in story more than box office (name another American studio that would produce a movie about a rat chef, or an elderly widower that flies his house to South America), and they've said that they would never make a sequel unless they felt it was appropriate. Seeing that Toy Story 2 is widely considered to be even better than the first film, I think it's okay to have high expectations for the third.

Jonah Hex

It's another comic book movie, sure, but Josh Brolin's the scar-struck lead, and is that a gatling gun strapped to a horse in the trailer?

Predators

"Produced by Robert Rodriguez" makes me shudder, but the premise and the cast are intriguing enough.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I'm honestly not wowed by the trailers so far, and the hyperactive colors and effects give me unpleasant Speed Racer flashbacks, but Michael Cera's a charmer and Edgar Wright's a great comedic director, so I'm guessing this will be fun.

Dinner for Schmucks

I'm a big fan of the original French film, The Dinner Game. It is really irritating when foreign films are remade because Americans can't read, but the premise is so entertaining that I don't mind seeing it done again, especially with Steve Carrell as the schmuck.

I'm looking forward to a few original films this summer. My highest expectations go to Inception; Christopher Nolan's pronounced fascination with the human mind should carry a thriller about international dream thieves a long distance. Get Low looks like some kind of folk western, and a cast consisting of Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacek is interesting. Splice seems worthwhile. The Killer Inside Me sounds pretty good.

Do I sound bored about this summer? I kind of am. How about you?

Chicken Soup for the Demented Soul

I remember being a kid and seeing William Castle's The Tingler after midnight on cable. A few things vaguely stood out in my mind: a creature pulled by fishing line; the sight of blood red in an otherwise black-and-white film; a character literally being scared to death. This was my first "real" exposure to Vincent Price beyond his guest appearance on "The Muppet Show," his brief role in Edward Scissorhands, and being the laughing man from "Thriller." Years later I knew I had a fond admiration for Price, but with only faint or limited reasons behind it. Why? I always assumed that these limited impressions and memories served as pieces to a bigger picture that I enjoyed; I don't think an episode of "The Muppet Show" would bother re-inventing a guest star. A good idea would've been to check out more of his movies.

And there was Vincent Price, forever stored on my cinematic to-do list, somewhere after "see more Bergman and Lean films," plus whatever got thrown onto the pile over time.

I read the AV Club often and am fond of their features; one of them called "Gateways to Geekery." The idea is to discuss icons, artists, publications, or genres of geek cult that people could shun you for not knowing anything about (Monty Python, EC Comics, Westerns, etc.) and the "possible gateway" that could get you started (plus what to avoid unless you're a true fan). An article popped up one day for Vincent Price, and caught my immediate interest.

His early career could be described as no less than normal for the time period. I watched some of these films. He's a main character in Laura, an above-average film noir from Otto Preminger; and he plays the title character in Sam Fuller's The Baron of Arizona with a charming empathy that struggles to overcome Fuller's typically heavy-handed writing and directing. Obviously these roles did not connect the dots with my childhood impressions, and are not even close to what people remember as the Price persona. According to that AV Club article, the "possible gateway" to Vincent Price is, no surprise, The Tingler.

The author went on to provide a laundry list of films to check out after The Tingler, and I was surprised to discover that I was more familiar with Price than I'd realized. He worked with Roger Corman on a few Edgar Allen Poe adaptations, some of which I'd seen in an eighth grade reading class; and I had forgotten about seeing the first film he worked on with Castle, House on Haunted Hill, when I was a lot younger. How could I have forgotten that skeleton rising from a vat of acid?

The picture was becoming more complete, I was discovering that the limited impression of Price that I had wasn't so limited, and that I was actually somewhat well-versed in his brand of oogly-moogly mania. After revisiting both The Tingler and House on Haunted Hill as an adult and fully appreciating both Price's hammy charm and Castle's spooky good-time gimmicks, I decided to approach a few more films that had caught my eye.

The later portion of Price's career is marked by a few revenge films made before his declining health. The most famous title is probably The Abominable Dr. Phibes, with its equally enjoyable sequel Dr. Phibes Rises Again, in which Price plays the mad title character set on avenging his wife's death. Yes, vigilante/revenge films are inherently dumb. Especially now, these films are steeped in heavy plotting, and usually the main character's wife/son/daughter has been so wronged by the justice system/drug cartel/police/government that the audience feels a vicarious joy in the character's journey for personal justice. Conveniently, these films feature stylish deaths, and usually a happy ending. Money!

The difference with the Phibes films is that the main character's driving motivation, his wife's death, really isn't so horrific. She dies during an operation (or at the hands of incomptetent doctors, depending on your perspective), but no evidence suggests that the death was malicious in any way. At worst, it's an unfortunate accident. Amusingly we see none of this; instead we have Price stealing scenes with ham-fisted monologues that simultaneously explain his motives and earn sympathy from the audience. Even with the complicated "seven plagues of Egypt" murders that Phibes commits with incredible ease, it isn't until hindsight that we realize we've sided with and cheered for a lunatic. The same could be said for the sequel, which takes itself even less seriously as Phibes goes to Egypt to give his dead wife immortality. Makes sense, that's the first place I'd think of.

Price alone carries these films. After a while, one can forget the character can't speak (due to a car accident that leaves his mouth sealed shut) from the precise throat movements and gestures to the passion in Price's eyes with each line mourning his dear "Vic-toooooria." There's a lot to be said about the set designs and stylish murdering (I'm especially fond of a misleading death that involves poisonous snakes), but only Price's expressive and energetic performances turn these inherently dumb films into great ones.

The best of the Price revenge films is Theater of Blood, which gives Price the chance to indulge in Shakespearean monologues while still playing a murderer. The premise is similar, but substitute a dead wife for career-ending notices, and doctors for theater critics. Instead of Egyptian plagues, the critics die according to Shakespeare tragedies. This film boasts a screenplay of astonishing wit and style, but it would still be nothing without Price in the lead.

Catch up on Vincent Price; not only is he a joy to watch, his personality alone seems to create a bizarre cinematic universe that combines an infectious humor and energy with a snickering blend of blood and ghouls. His best films aren't so-bad-they're-great (see Troll 2), nor are they exemplary classic horror. He's one of the few actors where the fact that he stars in it is pretty indicative of what kind of film it is. Recently I tried explaining to a friend of mine what makes Price so special. The best I could come up with is that he reminds me of the charm of a homemade haunted house.

I'll stand by that.

UPDATE: I've just found Dr. Phibes Rises Again streaming for free on Hulu, along with House on Haunted Hill. Enjoy!