Stale Popcorn: A Guide to the Summer 2010 Film Season

The summer movie formula is pretty simple: Release the high-priced blockbusters while school's out and make money. This in itself isn't a bad thing, plenty of high budget films provide entertainment and opportunities to present things that haven't been seen before (Star Wars, E.T., Men in Black, etc.). The problem is when spectacle and box office potential are prioritized above basic storytelling virtues; then we're paying good money to see noisy, vapid sinkholes. For the past few summers, this formula has been seemingly eating itself, with studios hanging their hats on established franchises, toys, comics, etc. Instead of new ideas and risks, audiences have mostly been subject to calculated business logic and marketing.

Bloggers and critics all over are already chiming in on this summer's theatrical lineup; many are already calling it the worst summer in recent memory, or possibly ever. They might be right. Let's do a head count:

Sequels/Prequels:

Shrek Forever After

Sex and the City 2

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Step Up 3D

Remakes/Re-boots:

Robin Hood

Karate Kid

Piranha 3D

TV/Video Game/Comic Adaptations:

Macgruber

The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Marmaduke

The A-Team

The Last Airbender

Is that worse than usual? I'm not motivated enough to investigate past summers, but it definitely feels worse. I can understand the intentions behind Ridley Scott's re-imagined Robin Hood origin story, and a 3D Piranha movie boasting record levels of fake blood might be sleazy enough to be worth seeing, but was there anybody in the world who wanted to see a Marmaduke movie? (Sub-topic: People still read "Marmaduke"?) Are the children who saw the original Cats & Dogs movie NINE years ago still looking for closure in a sequel? Do Dreamworks Animation executives really believe the world needs another Shrek movie?

Of course not. But there might be hope. Normally about this time of year I'm waiting for the depression to sink in when people pay for the usual rotten bunch of bananas in droves. However, early numbers indicate that Shrek, SATC2, and Prince of Persia are performing far below expectations, and Macgruber's performance has been an embarrassment. This could be a sign that maybe people don't want to pay high ticket prices to see recycled garbage, but let's wait until the next Twilight film is released before we say for sure.

In the meantime, here are some sequels, comic book movies, and remakes that look like solid exceptions:

Iron Man 2

The first Iron Man film succeeded with great performances and an infectious energy, and while the depth of Iron Man comic book mythos would be enough justification for a sequel, there's a genuine desire to see where this story is going next. (And no, I still haven't seen it yet.)

Toy Story 3

Pixar has proven repeatedly that their interests are in story more than box office (name another American studio that would produce a movie about a rat chef, or an elderly widower that flies his house to South America), and they've said that they would never make a sequel unless they felt it was appropriate. Seeing that Toy Story 2 is widely considered to be even better than the first film, I think it's okay to have high expectations for the third.

Jonah Hex

It's another comic book movie, sure, but Josh Brolin's the scar-struck lead, and is that a gatling gun strapped to a horse in the trailer?

Predators

"Produced by Robert Rodriguez" makes me shudder, but the premise and the cast are intriguing enough.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I'm honestly not wowed by the trailers so far, and the hyperactive colors and effects give me unpleasant Speed Racer flashbacks, but Michael Cera's a charmer and Edgar Wright's a great comedic director, so I'm guessing this will be fun.

Dinner for Schmucks

I'm a big fan of the original French film, The Dinner Game. It is really irritating when foreign films are remade because Americans can't read, but the premise is so entertaining that I don't mind seeing it done again, especially with Steve Carrell as the schmuck.

I'm looking forward to a few original films this summer. My highest expectations go to Inception; Christopher Nolan's pronounced fascination with the human mind should carry a thriller about international dream thieves a long distance. Get Low looks like some kind of folk western, and a cast consisting of Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacek is interesting. Splice seems worthwhile. The Killer Inside Me sounds pretty good.

Do I sound bored about this summer? I kind of am. How about you?